Soulmates, destiny, and writing

I don’t believe in soulmates. I think the idea is silly and dangerous. It means you don’t have to earn someone else’s love and respect. There’s no work involved; love just happens–at first sight.

That’s a load of hash.

Choice, not soulmate

I love my husband. Deeply, madly, truly. I am head over heels for him. But I wasn’t forced to love him. I could have loved someone else.

He is my choice, not my destiny.

We worked hard for our relationship. We fought a lot in the beginning. But the fighting was the process by which we molded ourselves to be the other person’s love. And now, married for five years, we are unbelievably happy.

Sure, it doesn’t sound as romantic as a soulmate. As someone I’m just meant to be with. But shouldn’t it be more romantic? It wasn’t “I had no choice but to love you.” Instead it was, “I could have picked anyone in the world, but I picked you, and only you, now and forever. I love you.”

Writing by choice

I’ve been seeing this advice everywhere: don’t write unless you can’t not write.

The idea of writing because you must sounds like destiny. It’s not a choice, it’s just in your blood.

That’s a load of hash.

Like love, writing isn’t this mystical, magical moment where your eyes meet for the first time and you just know.

It’s a lot of work. A lot of effort. You have to earn the right to be read. Like all relationships, things get hard and you want to give up. But when you don’t give up, when you work through the tough times, you become stronger, better, and happier.

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